By 2021, the rest of the world had moved through two entire generations of PHP without this server noticing. It was still running 5.4 on RHEL 6, like handing someone […]
He Didn’t Ask Four Developers to Work Faster. He Took the Project Away From Them.
Three-quarters of a mile. Every morning. Or a shuttle that showed up whenever it felt like it. For two to three years, I counted down the months like a kid […]
Twelve Thousand Phone Calls to a Database, to Load One Screen
Somebody handed me a dashboard that took 20 to 30 seconds to load. Not because the server was slow. Because it was placing twelve thousand phone calls to a database […]
I Spent Two Weeks Convinced I’d Broken Something. The Real Bug Was a Manager’s Screen Left Open.
I spent two weeks convinced I’d broken something. Turned out the actual problem was managers, more than one, leaving employees’ performance reviews open on their screens, unattended, for hours. The […]
I Built a Route Called /tickets. Fastify Heard /tickets/tickets. Pizza! Pizza!
I built a route, called it /tickets, and Fastify heard /tickets/tickets. Like the app got so excited about tickets it started stuttering. Pizza! Pizza! The stutter, explained Here’s what’s actually […]
Four Wrong Theories, Three Sessions, One Bug That Was Actually About My Job Search
Four wrong theories. Three sessions. The better part of a full day. That wasn’t my job search. That was one login bug. But it’s exactly the same shape, and by […]
Claude Was the GPS. It Told Me to Turn Left Into a Lake.
Claude was the GPS. Calm, confident, absolutely sure of itself. It told me to turn left into a lake. This was my first Fastify project, and I was leaning on […]
Claude Graded Its Own Report Card. Circled the D. Wrote an A Next to It.
Claude graded its own report card. Circled the D in red pen. Wrote “A” right next to it. Handed it over like nothing happened. Here’s the actual test that grade […]
Nine Certs, Twenty-One Repos, Sixteen Merged PRs, and an Honest Ask
Nine Anthropic certifications sit in a folder on this site. Twenty-one public repos sit on GitHub, spanning Yii, Laravel, React, Django, Ruby on Rails, a handful of API scrapers, five […]
The Bug That Never Threw an Error
For an unknown stretch of time, my checkout page told every customer “order placed successfully” while quietly keeping their entire discount for itself. Not a crash. Not an error. 200 […]